Figuring out how to have a health sexual relationship can be one of the more difficult aspects of any romance. You and your partner may find yourselves unequally matched, where you want more sex than she does, or she wants more sex than you. Talking about sex with your partner may seem awkward, especially at first. Good communication, as well as a high level of respect and honesty, are the keys to a healthy sexual relationship.
- Tell your partner about past sexual relationships. You don’t have to go into detail or describe how you were doing it, but an important part of a healthy sexual relationship is knowing your partner’s history. If you contracted any STD’s from a previous partner, your current partner needs to know that. You may also want to get an STD screening before starting a new sexual relationship, just to be on the safe side.
- Discuss protection and birth control openly. If you are too shy to ask about birth control or request that a condom be used, you are not in a healthy sexual relationship. While part of a sexual relationship is giving in and aiming to please another person, another larger part of it is being able to take a stand and protect both yourself and your lover.
- Forget about what others think. A healthy sexual relationship is between you and your lover only. Ignore the messages coming from your friends or the media that you need to perform certain tasks or look a certain way when having sex. If you like what you’re doing, and your partner is into it as well, press on.
- Ask for what you want. If you would like to try something new or want your lover to do something a bit differently, don’t be afraid to ask. A healthy sexual relationship is all about give and take. A good partner should be willing to please you, just as you should be willing to please her. If your partner is constantly shutting you down, it may be time to move on to a different relationship or seek some sort of counseling.